It’s hard to reguard someone the same,
after you’ve slept with them. Everything will remind you of that time when your souls and your bodies intertwined. No matter what they’re wearing, you’ll picture them naked.You’ll remember the softness of their skin, the racing of their heart. It’s even worse when they have a significant other. You’ll watch them from the corner of your eyes and pray to god that they haven’t experienced what you have, been one in that way. You get nasty images in your skull, of their legs tangled, their lips crushing.
You’re taunted by the empty promises, the sweet words. Your heart feels dangerously heavy as you stand alone sipping your tea, watching her kiss your one time lover. You gave him your eveything. You were ultimatel vulnerable, and bared your soul. For this, to in the end watch him give it all away.
This is why it’s best to simply avoid those we’ve slept with and will never sleep with agian.
I am a writer by nature;
My mind doesn’t work in the way of mathematics and science. It rejects reality, rejects the present. I am a day dreamer, a mind wanderer, and a romantic. Take my thoughts away from me and I will have nothing, but leave them and I will have everything. I can turn a simple sentence into poetry, make it beautiful and colorful. I love what I can do with words, turn them and spiral them in my mind, adjusting their purpose and their meaning. I want descriptions and secrets, written on white lined paper.
I feel too much. That’s what’s going on. Do you think one can feel too much? Or just feel in the wrong ways? My insides don’t match up with my outsides. Do anyone’s insides and outsides match up? I don’t know. I’m only me. Maybe that’s what a person’s personality is: the difference between the inside and outside. But it’s worse for me. I wonder if everyone thinks it’s worse for him. Probably. But it really is worse for me.
“
| — |
Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close (via floralnymph)
|
